DOG DAYS OF SPRING: “Now batting, Number 84.”

As March crawls by slowly Spring Training crawls by even slower. As the Red Sox inch their way towards Opening Day it is the same routine as most springs: stretch, jog, golf, shit-stomp a few college squads, play the Twins a few hundred times, answer the same dull questions everyday from reporters, and send all the players with jersey numbers higher than 58 to their respective summer homes.

“Hey, 84! You’re headed to Lancaster.”

“Coach, I have a name. It’s …”

“Whatever, 84. Learn to hit a (expletive) baseball and you’ll get a name. Get a cab to the bus station. The Greyhound from Ft. Myers to Lancaster, CA leaves in 20 minutes and you wanna bring a pillow– tough 67 hours on that friggin bus ride. Go.”

Here are some of the moments of spring training:


Terry and the boys talk about their favorite moments from “The Notebook”


Two of the younger pitchers play ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ to see who has to head to 7-Eleven to buy Brad Penny’s Michelob Ultras and latest issue of People magazine and Tim Wakefiled’s afternoon tin of Copenhagen.

lugoDustin Pedroia and David Ortiz share a chuckle watching Julio Lugo take grounders.


Team owner John Henry attracted swarms of affluent fans as he signed baseballs for $38. NASCAR fans caught a bit of a break getting the autographs for just $36.

sox9__1234642841_1407Red Sox catchers do a drill to prepare for any Tampa Bay Ray who slides into home plate this season. “And make it a good one!” yelled Terry from sidelines.


David Ortiz listens to a motivational speech by good friend Manny Ramirez entitled: ” Money, Hitting, and Money”



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3 responses to “DOG DAYS OF SPRING: “Now batting, Number 84.”

  1. So I tuned into this ready to get a chuckle and maybe read some interesting takes on the Sox and such.

    Then I read your post about the bus ride from Ft. Meyers to Lancaster. 67 hours sounded a little short to me, so I checked. The fastest Greyhound bus from Fort Meyers to Lancaster clocks in 10 min shy of 75 hours. Had you even bothered to research for approximately 49 seconds via Google, you could have found this out for yourself and saved you the humiliating embarassment of being called out in a shitty reply.

    So, Mr. Joe, I will continue to read your blog, but be warned, you are being double checked and graded on accuracy.

    • saratoga85

      Opie, my good man, I do appreciate your vigor and attention to The Glob’s geographical accuracy. You are a valued reader and truly modern day visionary when it comes to pointing out the glaring infirmities of The Glob and its staff. However, I do suggest that you call up your good friends at the Google and have them produce the mileage from the real spring training facilities of the Red Sox, which is Ft. Myers and not “Ft. Meyers” as you so erroneously put it.

      I’m sure having the correct point of origin is absolutely imperative in calculating, with any hint of accuracy, the distance between two points. The Glob appreciates the thought but it also suggests that you spend maybe an extra 4 seconds on the Google to figure out just how many ‘e’s are in Ft. Myers.

  2. 06/27/85 (Thu) Saratoga Performing Arts Center – Saratoga Springs, NY
    Set 1: Midnight Hour > Bertha > Little Red Rooster, Stagger Lee > El Paso, Crazy Fingers > Supplication > High Time, Hell In A Bucket > Don’t Ease Me In

    Set 2: Feel Like A Stranger > Eyes Of The World > Goin’ Down the Road Feeling Bad > Women Are Smarter > Drums > Truckin’ > Spoonful > Black Peter > Lovelight, E:Johnny B. Goode, E: It’s All Over Now Baby Blue

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